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    • My Christmas wish list

    October 18th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez

    What I want for Christmas

    Have I been a good boy? Or a bad boy? Wahahahaha I guess I’ve been both! Nyahahahaha.

    Will Santa give me my Christmas wish list for this year? Matanda na ako and I don’t believe in
    Santa, pero I do believe in the power of making “PARINIG” wahahaha. So mom and dad, listen!! And listen carefully.

    1. iPhone 3G (mom? Dad? Are you listening? LMAO)
    2. Apple laptop (kaya lang the apple pro costs $1999, ang mahal potek, mom, dad, kaya ba? hahahahaha)
    3. A wife (gf muna pala) lolz. Any takers? Position is now open for application wahahahaha
    4. A good paying job in London, New York or anywhere in the states. Off course as a nurse dapat.
    5. Good grades in my masteral courses. Suma Cum Laude? Why not?
    6. Pass the IELTS.
    7. Pass the NCLEX.
    8. My own crib.
    9. Endless stock of starbucks coffee and
    10. A son. Any women out there willing to make one for me? Syempre I’m going to be its biological father and I don’t want In Vitro fertilization. Wahahahaha.

    Some of the items on my list are actually achievable (by my own) while some of them, I leave to my mom and dad. Wahahahahaha.

    Posted in Uncategorized | tagged , , , , | | 1 Comments

    A Nurse’s Prayer

    September 2nd, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez

    Nurse’s Prayer

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    Dear Lord,

    From whom all the goodness flows,

    Giver of all good things,

    I come to You with an open heart,

    Thanksgiving and prayers I bring.

    This work is truly a gift from You,

    Serving those in pain,

    In the daily living of ourselves,

    We are the ones who gain.

    Whenever patients need our care,

    May we welcome them with grace.

    Gentleness and passion,

    May they see on every face.

    Help us do the best we can

    Alert at every hour,

    Round the clock, tireless be,

    And from duties never cower.

    Be our strength and guidance, Lord,

    Let us work as a team,

    Heal, work miracles where we are

    As hard as they may seem.

    For all these Lord, I pray to you

    Make me steadfast as I envision

    You say, “Well done, faithful servant….

    You’ve fulfilled your life’s mission.”

    This is the prayer printed on the scroll, that ate
    Gemma gave me on my 21st Birthday last May 8, 2008 before the board examination.
    Thank you so much ate gemma.

    Posted in Religion | tagged , , , | | 0 Comments

    BUMBS….nyahahaha

    August 11th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez

    sunday. pumasok ako sa hospital for the 3-11 shift. sa ICU ako. and everytime na andon ako eh tumatagaktak ang  pawis ko sa katoxican ng mga patients at aircon sa loob. nung nasa pinto na ako ng ICU, may mga bumbs na nagaabang. di ko alam na they have a patient inside. eh di door bell ako. pinagbuksan ako nung nurse na kasama ko sa shift na yon. then (wahahahaha) tumambad sakin ang isang nakakaaliw na pangyayari sa loob ng ICU. yung ICU, it usually smells like the patients and kung minsan amoy floor sanitizer, pero that time, nak ng mongrel, amoy bumbs. nyahahaha. amoy sangatutak na bumbs! kaya pala. ah ok. sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko. may bumbs pala na naaksidente, kasama ang kanyang kapatid na motor (hula ko 5/6 yun) haha. lolz. kung ikaw ang nurse na andon, mawiwrdohan ka sa mga eksena na makikita mo! nyahahaha. ako man gusto ko ng tumawa pero kung gagawin ko yun baka mahunting ako ng mga bumbs hahabulin nila ako ng mga motor nila nyahahaha. so ayun quiet lang. tinanong ko yung batchmate ko na andon din.

    mike: anong meron?
    betha: mga bumbs. tinotoxic nila sarili nila. makinig ka lang. (ngiti)
    mike: ok. ok.

    eto kasi eksena ng mga mababangong bumbs na may angelic faces at walang kahalong sarcasm yan! wahahaha.

    to be transferred via airlift yung patient to a hospital in manila, sabi ko sa sarili ko: wow, bigtaym ang mga lolo at lola mong bumbs na me amoy. nyahahahaha.the nurse on duty was calling asian and st lukes but there were no vacancy in their ICU’s so they were left with UST and UDMC. they chose UST. madaming naging problema. di ko na matandaan yung iba kasi nag busy busy-han akong kumukuha ng vital signs nung baby na nasa ICU din. then napasok sila sa topic na kung sinong doctor ang sasama sa patient. gusto nila yung attending physician. hay nako ang potakteng gayish na doctor nagumpisa nanaman ng gulo kasi antagal dumating at sabi ng mga bumbs, dinelay daw namen (by “namen” i mean lahat ng taong nasa loob ng ICU pati na siguro yung mga housekeeping eh nasali) yung pag transfer ng patient at ng flight nila na 4:00 ng hapon dapat, eh 3:30 na noon. nyahahaha. andami nila nasabi, pag namatay daw yung patient, idedemanda daw nila due to negligence and delaying tactics yung hospital. wahahahaha. sabi pa ng angelic face bumbs na amoy ibinabad sa onion concoction nyahahahahaha eh sinadya daw namen na idelay yung flight nila. wow. sa mga oras na to, umiiwas na ako sa mga bumbs at nag focus dun sa isa pang patient, vital signs ako kunware. nyahahahaha at ang napagkadisketahan eh si sir russel, yung RT, nyahahahaha. wheeee. buti nalang wala ako don. then syempre, ako pa? mawawala sa eksena? may tumawag sa phone ng ICU, sabi pababain ko na yung mga bumbs. maingay, may amoy at nakakatakot na ang mga angelic faces nila when i called for their attention and relayed what i was told over the phone. wow. nabigla ako sa authority ko as a nurse. nyahahahaha. sunod ang isang batalyong bumbs sa sinabi ko andon na daw kasi yung ambulance and the attending physician. so binaba na din yung patient, ang sumunod na tumambad na eksena eh sa ER naman, dun naman nagpuputak yung mga potakteng anak ng mongrel na mga bumbs. and the fact na may ibang patients for admission, di dapat ganon, nyahahaha. so ready lang si manong guard baka magkagulo kasi lalo pang nagiging angelic yung faces ng mga bumbs. hahahaha. whew. pagka lagay nung patient sa ambulance, siguro mga thirty minutes pa before they left, because of the doctor na gayish nyahahaha. basta may ginawang gulo si gayish doctor na ikinainit ng ulo ng mga angelic faced bumbs at ng shief of hospital. nyahahaha. biruin mo, isang maliit na process na dapat natapos agad eh lumaki ng todo?

    lesson learned: wag mag aadmit ng mga demanding na bumbs. taena ako! racist amp! nyahahaha. blog ko to baket? hahahaha. wag lang to mabasa ng mga bumbs na nasa loob ng ICU non at patay ako. konektado sila kay DY at ALVAREZ. bang bang alley ang labas ko nyan. wahahahaha. pish tayo!

    Posted in FUNNY | tagged , , , , | | 3 Comments

    PAYNALI

    July 24th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez

    last night (july 24, 2008) was the weirdest yet one of my happiest moments! after months of tortured waiting, sleepless nights and praying, finally they released the results of the june 2008 NLE.  and incredulously, i passed! i was like on a panic mode to look for my name, pero my damn internet connection was toying with me! lechugas! my anxiety rising to an even higher level, then i started recieving text messages that i passed, even showing evidence that i really passed by texting me my sequence number, my sisters were calling confirming that i really did pass. whew! it was the weirdest night because instead of jumping up and down, hugging the people around me and shouting my lungs out because of joy and immense euphoria (that was my planned reaction if ever i passed) instead, i was sitting on a corner of my room, crying like a baby! hahahaha! my mom was laughing, i was speechless, all i was able to do was cry!! hahaha! it took me a few minutes to absorb it all in! sigh… but i was really looking for concrete evidence that i really made it. i needed to see the results personally, cos all those people telling me that i passed would have been a very bad joke and that i’d kill them if what they were telling me wasn’t true! pero i saw it din. finally, a big sigh of relief.

    haba ng speech!

    ahm, i’d like to thank all my sponsors, lolz

    mom and dad for paying for my dorm and review center, and for giving me a big allowance. hahaha

    my clinical instructors who gave me a strong foundation with my nursing education, colleagues na tayo. tabla tabla na to. lolz kidding

    ADM and all the people who live there!ate susan for the prayers, beth beth for the well cooked hard boiled eggs, tocino, baloney, hotdogs, baloney, ham, bangus, baloney. haha

    starbucks sm manila branch, for their coffee that kept me awake everyday at my review center.

    gapuz review center, na walang leakage! promise! wala!

    don mariano memorial high school  sa may santa ana, manila, corazon aquino building room 202 that has only 2 electric fans na hindi naman ako inaabot.

    yellow cab pizza new york’s finest! for all the calories and fats and energy that i needed to be up during my review.

    sa mga fx that transported me safely.

    manong taxi drayber na binayaran ko ng malaki para lang isakay ako para lang di ma late! (alam ko number ng plaka mo, report kita manong)

    sa mga yosi ni mang omar, which helped me save money, cos hes our supplier!

    nescafe coffee, na kasabay ng yosi, for keeping me up with your caffeine.

    saint jude church, saint claire, ust church, saint james parish. all the angels and saints that helped made this a reality and offcourse to almighty God.

    thank you so much

    Posted in Uncategorized | tagged , , , , , | | 2 Comments

    that’s off the hook you little perve!!

    July 14th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez

    PARENTAL GUIDANCE: NOT FOR KIDS. if you’re of age, proceed, if not, read on parin. pero be warned, may pagka perve to. hahaha. i just thought they were funny!

    With due respect to Robert Frost, I wrote this parody to extentuate consequences in the choices we make

    The Man Not Taken

    Two men sprawled in bed looking good,

    Sorry I could not keep them both.

    Being one woman, long I stood

    And checked out one as far as I could

    Estimating his financial growth.

    Then took the other with balding hair

    And having perhaps a little shame

    Because he was skinny, no muscles to bare

    Though as for that the time spent there

    Had proven their sexuality about the same.

    And both that morning equally lay
    in sheets so silky smooth and black.

    Oh, I reserved the first for another day.

    Yet knowing a good time goes a long way,

    I doubted if he would ever come back.

    I shall be telling this with a cry,

    Somewhere nine months hither and hence.

    Two men sprawled in bed,
    and I,
    I chose the one who told the vasectomy lie.

    I wish I had known the difference!

    A Naughty Little Poem

    She whispered “will it hurt me?”
    “Of course not” answered he
    “It’s a very simple process,
    You can rely on me.”

    She said “I’m very frightened,
    I’ve not had this before.
    My friend has had it five times
    And said it can be sore.”

    It was growing rather painful
    Tears formed in her eyes
    It was hurting quite a bit now
    It must have been a size.

    “Calm
    yourself” he whispered
    “His face filled with a grin
    “Try and open wider
    So I can get it in.”

    “It’s coming now” he whispered
    “I know” she cried in bliss
    Feeling it deep within her now
    She said “I am glad I’m having this.”

    And with a final effort
    She gave a frightened shout
    He gripped it in anguish
    And quickly pulled it out.

    She lay back quite contended
    Sighed and gave a smile
    She said “I’m glad I came now
    You made it worth my while.”


    Now if you read this carefully
    The dentist you will find
    Is not what you imagined
    It’s just your dirty mind!!

    Pickles Are Green

    Roses are red
    pickles are green
    I love your legs
    and what’s in between

    I like your style
    I like your class
    but most of all
    I like your ass!!!!


    I Am Just A Normal Guy But
    All My Dreams Are Kinky

    I’m just a normal guy,
    just as plain as one can be.
    My Mum & Dad were average folks,
    & that’s how they raised me
    I don’t understand it,
    it’s to normal things I’m geared

    By day my life is sane,
    but at night my dreams are weird

    I’m just a normal fella
    who goes off to work each day
    I do my job, lunch with my mates,
    each week collect my pay
    But in the night I dread the bed,
    each night is just the same
    Cause all my dreams are kinky,
    one overnight sick game.

    I’m dressed in a G-string tied in a bow
    There’s a chicken in a garter belt, Oh God no!
    Birds fly by and wolf whistle overhead
    Don’t roll over there’s a roo in the bed …

    15 Strippers all in a row
    All with bra-straps ready to blow
    One pretty lady dancin’ in my lap
    Don’t you touch or you’ll get a nasty slap.

    I’m just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
    My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that’s how they raised me
    I think one day when I was small, Ma dropped me in the sink
    By day I’m just a normal sod, by all my dreams are kinked

    I’d like to have a girlfriend, but it just never does work out
    We get on fine until they find what my night dreams are about
    Then they drop me like a stone, they say they can’t compete
    With nude three-breasted women with vibrators on their feet

    Hippos in tutus, hot oil & cream
    Chains and whips all to make me scream
    Lizards & snakes all in strange places
    They’re gettin’ it on & making lewd faces

    When dreaming the nightclubs everywhere
    Are chock full of animals in underwear
    Teddy Bears in teddies, wombats in hot pants
    All we need now is a couple thousand ants

    I’m just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
    My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that’s how they raised me
    My life could be near perfect, my life could be real fun
    If only when I slept the chorus girls weren’t dressed like nuns

    I went to see a famous shrink, to straighten out my head
    I told him if I can’t get fixed I might as well be dead
    He laid me down & said “tell me of your erotic dreams”
    I said “One feather is erotic, not whole chickens soaked in cream!”

    There are female wrestlers all covered in jelly
    Exotic dancers doing things with their bellies
    A cute sexy lady, covered in mud
    Whispers in my ear with the voice of Elmer Fudd

    There are strong males strippers with bricks in their jocks
    With all those square corners they couldn’t be socks
    This stuff all around me is one kinky dream
    Whatever you imagine I’m sure to have a theme

    I guess it is my lot to life, can’t beat it so I’ll join
    I suppose that they are only dreams they don’t even cost a coin
    So if at night you happen to hear me in my sleep
    Just think, “that lucky bugger, is dancing naked tending sheep.”

    I’m just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
    My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that’s how they raised me
    I don’t under stand it, it’s to normal things I’m geared
    By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

    Posted in Uncategorized | tagged , , | | 3 Comments

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