Transition
September 8th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
I was cruisin around the net reading other people’s blogs when I stumbled on GREENPINOY.COM where these filipino folk songs and games are translated into gay lingo. This is so hilarious that you will surely fall from your seats or die laughing.
Bahay Kubo
Ready?… Sing!
Valer kuberch, kahit jutay
Ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek.
Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay
Nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani.
Kundol, jutola, jupot jolabastrax
At mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa.
Nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax
And around the keme ay fulnes ng linga.
Graveh na Itetch!
…and the gay lingo syndrome continues!
“Mudra, Fudra bet kiz ng kronapay
Sisterette, brotherloo, bet kiz ng frappe
lahat ng betchina kez ay kemer, kemerlu
ang magkamali ang pipingutin kiz”
‘nanay-tatay ng dalawang batang bading’
Pen Pen de Sarapen, Bading Version
Ayaw paawat ng mga batang juding ahahaha
Pen pen de chorvaloo de kemerloo de eklavoo
Hao hao de chenelyn de big uten
Sifit dapat iipit
Goldness filak chumuchulaklak
Sa tabi ng chenes!
Todo na talaga to!!!
Sinabawang Gulay, Bading Version
D Colorific (colorific)
Ang shombey… (ang shombey…)
Ang shombey
Sa shinabumey na juley!
Tagu-taguan, Bading Version!
Tagu-taguan, Bading Version
Shogu-shoguan
Lightness galore ang juwan
Yummy ang magplay sa jilimjiliman!
Pagcounting ng krompu
Nakashogo na kayey!
Jisa, krolawa, shotlo, kyopat, jima, kyonim, nyitoert, walochi, syamert, krompu!!!
Mga becky andetrax na si atashi!!!
Langit Lupa, Bading version!
Eto pang isa!!!
Heaven, Lufa
Infairness!
In, in, infairness!
Okray heartness
Flowing ang dugesh!
Chuging, alive
Dis-a-ppear kanetch!
thanks to www.greenpinoy.com
Posted in BODY, FUNNY, Sports, election | tagged bading, bata, FUNNY, larong pilipino | | 0 Comments
AMPLASTIK!
September 5th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
SANDAMAKMAK NA PLASTIK!!!
Mainit nanaman ulo ko!!! Ask me why!!! I said ask me why!!! You: okay, why? (nyahahaha) my mom (super supportive stage mother of the century) and I were invited to attend a party, and at that party, I was able to catch some chismax, and it concerns me.
I don’t listen and I usually don’t get affected by any chismax that I hear, but this one touched a nerve, pero I still kept my cool. The host of the party was talking to my mom (alam mo na ang mga lahi ni Eba, eh, basta) the issue was that a certain woman, cannot believe that I passed the board exam and that it was my second take na daw, okay, maybe that was an honest mistake, maybe she thought that I’m old na and that I graduated from college many centuries ago, okay, no problem about that, pero what touched my nerve was that she kept on insisting that it was really my second take (the host - yung nakausap nung inconvincible woman) kept on insisting na it was really my first take and that I just graduated. I kept quiet the whole time, and didn’t give any feedback or opinion about it.
And would you believe it, that woman, who won’t believe that I passed the first time, arrived at the party. I don’t know who she is nor how she was connected to my mom or my dad pero I have the feeling that I don’t like her at all.
If I had my license, my credentials, my resume, my TOR, my graduation certificate and my meritorious citation and my medals with me (multi awarded ako nung college nyahaha), I would have bitch slapped her with them. Hindi ako mayabang (slight lang) nor am I bragging about my passing but what the heck was that woman’s problem? Bakit ayaw niyang paniwalaan ang isang established FACT? Hahaha. And why does she keep on insisting that it was my second take? Does she even know who I am? Does she even have any idea about the prowess and might of the neurons encased inside my cranium?
Is she insecure with what my parents have (a mansion, a ranch, an airline company, a pine apple plantation in Bukidnon, a villa in Boracay and Guimaraz island, hectares upon hectares of rice terraces in benguet, millions worth of jewelry, an ore and diamond mine AT TATLONG BOARD PASSERS NA ANAK) at kung kilala mo ako, hindi ka maniniwala sa mga pinagsasabi kong kayamanan na yan.
If that’s the case, if ever she really is insecure with my success with the board and that of my siblings, then move on woman, maghanap ka ng pagkaka abalahan mo, pag aralin mo mga anak mo and make them take courses that requires a board exam, and if ever they pass (for the first or second take) then hindi din kami maniniwala na nakapasa sila!!!. (Insert evil laugh here… BWAHAHAHAHAHA)
Before she left the party, she came up to us, greeted my mom and said “Congratulations Mare” and off course, my mom couldn’t keep herself from flaunting me to her so my mom said “anak ko nga pala” and pointed at me, the inconvincible woman then raised her hand to shake mine and said “congratulations!” ako naman, I grabbed her hand, shook it, and said “thanks bitch, would you like to have a taste of my knuckle sandwich?” I didn’t wait for her reply and just gave her one - on the face - with my other arm. At kung talagang matalino ka eh hindi ka maniniwala sa huli kong sinabi.
Posted in Rants | | | 1 Comments
Abawt di Otor
September 2nd, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Tantalizing….
Anak ako ni rocky at ni sally, malamang sila ang mga
magulang ko, kapatid ko sina Kathleen at Katrina, at kahit sabihan mo kami na
mga anak ni sally at rocky na ampon lamang ay hinding hindi kami maniniwala
sayo kase pare parehas kami ng itsura na nagkatalo talo lamang sa kaunting
pagkakaiba sa hugis at laki ng ilong. Nyahahaha.
Yan ang tatak ko, yan ang tatak ng mga nagdaang
henerasyon ng mga valdez, yan yung parte ng katawan na kapag nawala eh sa
bunganga ka lang hihinga, na kapag nawala, wala ka nang kakalikutin para
magtanggal ng kulangot, na pag nawala, wala ka ng aatupagin na pag gugupit sa
mga maliliit na buhok na nakausli, na kapag nawala, eh para mo na ding sinabi
na hindi nag exist ang lahi ko.
Nakakasama man sa loob, minsan kung iniisip ko, na
kung bakit noong nagsabog ang Diyos ng matatangos at magagandang hugis na ilong
sa mundo ay nasa likuran ako, mahimbing na mahimbing na natutulog, at ng
magising eh biniyayaan nalang ako ng Diyos ng kung ano man yung mga hindi
pinili ng sanlibutan – rejects kumbaga. Lolz.
May ilang taon ko na ding pinaglalaban tong ilong ko
na ito mula nung magkamalay ako na pango ako mula sa mga mata ng mga taong
mapanghusga at mapangkilatis sa itsura ng ibang tao. Hindi ba nila alam na
nakakasakit sila ng damdamin? (pero hindi talaga ako affected. lolz) Hindi ba
nila alam na itong ilong na pinagtatawanan nila ay kahit papano bigay parin ng
Diyos?
Pero kailan lang, nang may isang taong kumilatis at
nilait ang ilong ko dahil sa pigiging malaki nito, hindi ko napigilan sumagot
sakanya, eto yung pangyayari”
Mapanlait na nilalang: “ang laki ng ilong mo. Ha ha
ha.”
Mike: “to hell with you bitch! May lamang utak ang
ilong ko kaya ganyan kalaki.”
Mapanlait na nilalang: “ows??…”
Mike: “hetong sayo bitch!”
At i-binitch slap ko sa kanya ang mga grades ko nung
college at ang meritorious citation ko na nagpadugo ng ilong nya kase wala
siyang ganon! Hahaha. lolz
Mula pa non, alam ko ng may kakaiba na talaga sa
ilong ko. Yung mga times na ipinagtataka ko kung bakit napakalaki neto eh nasagot
ko na din, may lamang utak ang ilong ko, kaya pala, kaya pala……
Sa ilong ko nanggagaling ang powers at katalinuhan
ko, kaya the moment na I start thinking about plastic surgery to enhance my
nose’s bridge, mabobobo siguro ako. Iyo na yang kagandahan ng ilong if that’s
the case. And besides, malaki man tong ilong ko, pango man ako, tantalizing
parin ito sa mata ng ibang tao, kabilang na ang mga magulang ko at mga nabibilang lamang na tao.
Posted in Rants | | | 0 Comments
A Nurse’s Prayer
September 2nd, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Nurse’s Prayer
Dear Lord,
From whom all the goodness flows,
Giver of all good things,
I come to You with an open heart,
Thanksgiving and prayers I bring.
This work is truly a gift from You,
Serving those in pain,
In the daily living of ourselves,
We are the ones who gain.
Whenever patients need our care,
May we welcome them with grace.
Gentleness and passion,
May they see on every face.
Help us do the best we can
Alert at every hour,
Round the clock, tireless be,
And from duties never cower.
Be our strength and guidance, Lord,
Let us work as a team,
Heal, work miracles where we are
As hard as they may seem.
For all these Lord, I pray to you
Make me steadfast as I envision
You say, “Well done, faithful servant….
You’ve fulfilled your life’s mission.”
This is the prayer printed on the scroll, that ate
Gemma gave me on my 21st Birthday last May 8, 2008 before the board examination.
Thank you so much ate gemma.
Posted in Religion | tagged Add new tag, gift, nurse, prayer | | 0 Comments
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