August 29th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Para sa babaeng tingin
ng tingin during my oath
taking.
I came all the way from the province and traveled
more than eight hours just to be able to have my oath taking here at the SMX
convention Center near SM mall of Asia. There’s an alternative to the Manila oath taking ceremonies pero I chose to have it at the SMX convention center because it is by far cooler than the provincial ceremonies.
All of us paid our dues to be able to be there at the SMX, so dapat walang pakeelamanan!! Mind your own business biatch!
It is my own business if I would like to remove the loose threads of the chair in front of me and it is none of you’re business if I talk to my seatmates and take pictures even if we were all told that taking pictures during the ceremony is prohibited! Wala kasing pakeelamanan and for your info, biatch, I saw your facial reaction when I was talking to my seatmates in english, as if you’ve never heard someone speak in English before? Where are you from by the way? From the far – far away land of kapir pirwan? Nyahahaha.
And oh yeah, since this is my blog, I would like to beat the crap out of you with my rants. (Insert evil laugh here. Bwahahahaha.)
When you finally showed your face, I saw that you were wearing make up as thick as the asphalt on the road along North Luzon Express Way.
Your lips are so red that they resemble your labia after a hard core pounding.
You are so fat that when you sit down, the Igorots of Benguet province would have been able to plant their rice and have a bountiful harvest on your fat slabs.
And how long have you been wearing your gayla uniform? You must have been wearing it everyday because your bra strap is starting to show. Buy a new set of uniform na kaya? Nyahahaha.
And finally, I would like to know what brand of coffee you drink, parang hindi ka tinatablan ng caffeine ng brand mo eh. Matakot ka naman….
Sa sarili mo. nyahahaha
Mabait akong tao, lalo na pag hindi ako pinakekeelaman at di ko dapat sinabi ang mga yan, pero once na you’ve touched a nerve, and triggered my rennin, angiotensin, aldosterone system ensuing to vasoconstriction and the re-absorption of sodium and water at my distal convoluted tubules resulting to an increase in my blood pressure eh malagot kana. It was a good thing na I kept my cool and my mouth shut, and mind you, I’m a veteran when it comes to making noses bleed when I’m angry…
Nagmamahal,
Jan Michael S. Valdez RN, soon to be MSN…lolz
Posted in Rants | tagged babae, mall of asia, mataba, oath taking, smx, tingin | | 2 Comments
August 28th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
tangina! ayoko na! dumudugo na utak ko, sumabog na din major blood vessels ko.
S/S
BP: 40/20 mmHg
temp: 15 C
RR: 60 breaths/pm
PR: 200 bpm
(+) restlessness
diaphoretic
Dyspneic with apneic episodes
seizures 1:00 duration - diazepam N/A
ANG HIRAP TALAGANG PAG ARALAN NG ECG!!! POTEK
Posted in Science | | | 0 Comments
August 25th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Answer these questions fittingly and correctly and I will
unquestionably be awed with your brain’s neural competence.
1. How can you make a stick longer without adding (or
subtracting) anything to is original length?
2. A King has placed a large diamond at the center of a 50ft
diameter carpet. How can you get the diamond without stepping on the carpet?
3. Astronauts are having a problem while note-taking in
space. Because of the lack of gravity, the ink will not go down the tip. How
will you solve the problem?
Post a comment on my blog for your answers. The winner with
the best answer will earn a star. nyahahaha. lolz.
Posted in Uncategorized | | | 4 Comments
August 23rd, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
A eXams
Hi
buddies! Thanks for all that is posting a comments to me I am feel so
tired! Anyway, I doesn’t had anything to make a post so I’m copy a
examinations from Teepsee’s blog to post. It is quite a funny things.
Are you single, married, or taken?
I’m mike
Are you in love at the moment?
Hmmm.. no I doesn’t thinking so….
With?
nobody dahhhh!
Have you ever had a bad relationship?
Yes, it was very bad relations. I think it is a body parts of the life
to having a bad relations once or twice. Not all relations you will
having is going to be a perfect.
How old were you when you started dating?
16
Are you unpredictable?
Yes, because I’m not predictable and nobody is predicting to me in a right way so I must be….
Do you like surprises?
Oh yes, I like to be shocking to something. I like a exciting feelings in my heart.
You think friends can become lovers?
Yes but for me maybe it is going to be feeling like a really weird things.
You think lovers can become friends?
it is all depends on how the relations of the two persons involving.
Have you ever had an ex you wanted to kill?
Yes. Hahaha but I cannot because it is a very deadly sins to do that.
How is she/he now?
i am not knowings any new about hers.
Who?
This is very weirdness for a question. Are you ask to me about the peopl who I wanting to kill? I’m so confusing to this.
What is your message for him/her?
Hi buddies. Visiting my blogs and leaving me a comments.
Have you ever been hurt?
Yah. The jellyfish was eat me you know and that’s a HURT!
Have you ever hurt anyone?
Yeah I always beating up people.
Do you forgive and forget?
Sometimes it is depend to what happening.
Is love lovelier the second time around?
I doesn’t believe in that sh!ts.
Fling or long term relationships?
I doesnt mind. Any. Because I am young still and I can enjoying myself.
Are you easy to be loved?
I’m always a lovable persons. You reading my English you are loving me already.
Are you a good friend?
yes i a good friends.
Are you sociable?
Yes I like to be social persons.
Do you try to please everyone?
It is a nature of human to try and make every other human happy but not everyone liking that or appreciated to that so …..
Do you want everyone to like you?
No. It is okay if someone is hate to me but as long as they are not try to hurting to me or kill the Inday it is okay.
Posted in FUNNY | | | 0 Comments
August 17th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
The unsurpassed elucidation of
the physiology and pathophysiology of diabetes mellitus from Inday, the montemayor family’s chambermaid.
Your illness is a complex metabolic derangement is characterized by
a grossly abnormal usage of fuel. the level of insulin is
inappropriately low while that of glucagon is too high relative to the
needs of the body. As in starvation, glucose utilization in your
illness is poor, but glucose is actually present in excessive amounts.
Sir, its starvation amidst plenty.
Therefore, sir, there is an inhibition in the pathways of both
glycolysis and glycogenesis. The liver attempts to generate glucose
from 2 equivalents of PYRUVATE, which is catalyzed by pyruvate
carboxylase, and uses up 2ATPs and converts it to ADP. The product
OXALOACETATE is converted to PHOSPHOENOL PYRUVATE, in a GTP mediated
reaction between the substrate and the enzyme PEP Carboxylase. PEP is
then converted to 3-PHOSPHOGLYCERATE, 1,3 BIPHOSPHOGLYCERATE, FRUCTOSE
1,6-BIPHOSPHATE, FRUCTOSE-6-PHOSPHATE, each in succession though the
enzyme phosphoglycerate kinase, then spontaneous oxidation by NADH,
then enzyme Fructose 1,6-biphosphatase, respectively. The precursor to
Glucose is now produced. The product GLUCOSE 6-PHOSPHATE underwent a
dephosphorylation reaction by the enzyme Glucose 6-phosphatase to
produce GLUCOSE, otherwise known as your Blood Sugar.
Sir, that explains the heightened level of glucose in your
bloodstream. This pathway further increases that glucose level in a
well-fed state.
Posted in Science | | | 2 Comments
August 17th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
One of the most memorable time in my life is when I started smoking and started going out on parties and gimmicks, and started going home drunk and late.
To be straightforward, this is not really a commendable trait, I’m not proud of it because smoking and drinking and going home drunk is not very admirable for the eyes of many, most specially for my parents, who hold a slightly prominent figure in society.
I am not mortified of my vices nor am I proud of them. I know I’m just living my life at the moment, enjoying what I should have enjoyed during high school. I’m a late bloomer when it came to these things, that’s why when I was in the late stages of college life; I tried to experience them all.
My vices gave me a feeling of immense elation. It was like I’m experiencing the real world of teenagers for the first time. I feel cool every time I puff on my cigarettes and down a whole bottle of stallion in just minutes. And now I remember what I’ve told myself when I was still in high school: “I may drink but I will never smoke nor do drugs” I ate that statement many months ago, though I’ve kept my word on not doing drugs.
It’s been almost a year since I started to smoke and started drinking nonstop and going out on gimmicks. And still I remember the person who somehow influenced me to do all these things. Being with her has brought innumerable memorable experiences. Memories worthy of being stored on the neurons of my brain. Being with her almost all the time even placed me on the verge of almost falling for her. but that is not the issue here.
As time passed by, I became too comfortable with her and her friends that a day without drinking with them or playing cards with them wasn’t complete.
Being too comfortable with the people I drink and smoke with has finally taken its toll. One time, my mouth lost its control due to the unbearable amount of alcohol in my blood that has effectively numbed the inhibitory center of my brain, which resulted to unconsciously humiliating one of her friends which caused her to walk out on us. She left without leaving a word, I know what I did, I know I humiliated her, and I know what to do to make it up to her, but when I got up and decided to catch up with her and say how sorry I am for blurting out those words, she was already gone. It was 3 in the morning, she was a girl, and her house is far and it’s dangerous for a lady to travel alone.
I told her friend that I would have liked it more if she just slapped me in the face or just hit me, I would rather have that anytime, rather than having her life risked by going home alone. I can never forgive myself if something ever happened to her because of me.
I went back inside and decided to just text her, she replied and all I got was a curse. I know i deserved it. I was no longer enjoying the night, the kick of alcohol was gone and I somewhat became sober because of what happened. I decided to leave. But before I could make my exit, I humiliated myself by vomiting, good thing we were in the backyard and I was standing right beside the drainage.
From that moment on, I faltered and firmly decided to detach myself from their company for a little while and just be quiet and take another serious look at the plans I have made for my life. I am not saying that they are in the way for my future plans, I am not saying anything of that sort, but the need to separate myself from them comes from the fact that my mouth is uncontrollable when under the influence of alcohol. I cannot risk another one of them or “her” walking out again and risking her life by going home alone because of me.
Alcohol and I does not really match, alcohol cannot be a big part of my life, this is not the personality I built for myself, I don’t want to be labeled by my friends and society as an “alcoholic ass with an uncontrollable mouth that endangers the life of the people around him” I don’t want that.
As I have said earlier, I will stay away from alcohol for some time, and refocus on my plans and start renewing myself.
Detoxification stage muna ako.
text nyo naman ako pag may inuman. joke lang tong entry na to. Lolz
Posted in SERIOUS | | | 1 Comments
August 16th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Warning muna, ayt?
This entry contains explicit content. Reader discretion is advised and an ampule of plasil is highly recommended or just keep a bucket at your side.
Naisip ko lang magkwento tungkol sa tuli.
Hahaha.
Nung grade three ako, namulat ako sa katotohanan na ang lahat ng mga kabataang lalaki ay dadaan sa isang ritwal na katakot takot bago daw makapasok sa mundo ng “tunay na mundo ng kalalakihan” kasi pag hindi ka pa tuli, makakatanggap ka lang naman ng walang kamatayang panloloko at kantyaw at tatawagin ka lang naman ng sangkatauhan na “SUPOT” kasi nga may balat pa na nakaSUPOT dyan sa “ulo” ng alaga mo. Lolz. At FYI hindi kasi ito “in” ditto sa Pilipinas kaya outcast ka pag supot ka.
So if you’re already thirty, think about it.
Hindi nagging malaking problema ang pagpapatuli sakin (kung magaling ka nahuli mo yung sarcasm jan), excited ako and yet a bit nervous because of the stories that fly around the neighborhood every summer regarding tuli. Masakit daw and they use daw a rusty kutsilyo. Nak nang! Nyahahaha. So hindi muna ako nagpatuli that summer.
When school finally started at pumasok ako na di pa tuli, nakaramdam agad ako ng peer pressure (at that age nagka peer pressure na ako. Lolz) at matinding pagka OP pag nagpapakitaan yung mga kaklase ko ng itsura ng tuli nila (sa mga lahi ni eba: normal yan sa mga kabataang lalaki) nagging honest naman ako when they asked me if I was circumcised na daw ba? Eh hindi pa nga eh, good thing hindi ako ang kaisa isang supot sa class namin non, at may kakampi ako. Nyahahaha. Nagkasawaan sa mga topics about tuli ang mga classmates kong tuli na so blah blah blah…
Summer bago ako mag grade four. Ok, ready na ako. Nabigyan ako ng option: puk pok or sa doctor daw?
Yung puk pok ganito:
Palalanguyin ka sa ilog ng hubo’t hubad and then mamang puk pok’s going to give you some guava leaves to chew on.
Mamang puk pok: “bibilang ako ng tatlo ha? Pagkatatlo papaluin ko, ok? One…”
“POK”
Mamang puk pok: “dura mo na yung bayabas dali!!!…”
Ikaw: “nalunok ko na ho…”
LOLZ…
Ako na anak mayaman ipagkakatiwala ko ang birdie ko sa isang mamang may hawak na kutsilyo na malamang eh ginamit na sa mga birdies ng nauna sayo at di pa nahugasan since the last decade? Mamaya pag tingin ko sa birdie ko, wala ng ulo at nangingisay na yung natitirang katawan? O di kaya pati “bahay jolens” eh na kutsilyo din? Ay hinde pwede! Anak mayaman ako kaya sa doctor ako nagpatuli. Lolz.
Blah blah blah…
Ako ang dad ko at ang ever dearest stage mother of the century ang kasama ko sa hospital. Nakaupo kami sa lobby at naghihintay. Kung marunong na akong magyosi that time siguro nakaubos ako ng isang kaha pero hindi. Dinaan ko sa palakad lakad at pakikialam sa kung ano anong nasa nurse station.
Sumalang na ako sa mini OR nila. Sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko, “Doctor mangtutuli sakin. Expert. At may assistant pang nurse na mejo mataba ng konti at mejo di kagandahan…ng konti.. Nyahahaha. Safe ako.”
Eto na.
Taena iba talaga pakiramdam pag kwentuhan lang. brave ka kunwari pero pag totohanan na, OMGWTFLOLZLMAO.
Nakita ko yung injection. 3cc syringe lang ang ginamit na may 1 inch needle (maliit lang yun pero kung 10 years old ka, katakot takot na yun). Di ko alam kung san itinusok, di ko alam kung pano at taena masakit!!! Then hayun, wala nang masakit, numb na ang laman laman ni birdie.
Kalikot ditto, kalikot jan, taena, gunting ditto gunting pa ulit don at hawak ni doctor ang balat ng birdie ko gamit ang forceps. Masakit yun pag walang anesthesia. Lolz
Ngayong ngayon ko lang nalaman na madami palang choices sa “cut” na gagawin yung docotr. Merong German, Russian, classic Pinoy, Cobra, at meron din yatang Banana.
Cobra? Putangina, parang gusto ko yun ah! Nanunuklaw! Nandudura!
BANANA??!!! Binabalatan bago isubo?! SUPERB!
pero ang anak ng mongrel na doctor, di sinabi yung mga yun. Kumbaga sarili nyang design ang ginawa nya. Ayus naman kinalabasan. Hehehe. APIR tayo Doc!
Natapos yung operation.
Di ako nagpalda gaya nung mga anak mahirap na nagpapatuli. Ang corny kaya pag ganon. Joke lang. Sosyal ako kaya nag shorts ako na may supporter pa pero walang brief. parang tanga kaya pag nakapalda ka tapos paika-ika ka pang maglakad. Ako di na naglakad na nakakayang, parang wala lang. normal lang. aakalain mong di ako nagpatuli.
After that may ilang araw din akong nagbubuhos ng pinakuluang dahon ng bayabas at syempre maligam gam yun. (ano ako tanga? Lolz.) may pagka high tech din yung ginamit na pantahi sa birdie ko, kasi natutunaw nalang ng basta. Or kinain na ni “one eyed snake” yung mga hibla ng sinulid. Whareva! Lolz.
After that namiss ko itsura ng pagiging supot. Lolz. Pero nakasanayan ko na din. Nabinyagan ko na nga din si birdie eh at ang name nya ay…..drum roll please…… throbbing python of love at ang nickname nya eh free willy nyahahahaha…
sabi ko nga namiss ko itsura, pero mas di katanggap tanggap kapag di ako natuli. unang una, ang mga supot, naiipon ang dumi sa loob, namumuti yun na parang white cream cheese, tawag dun ay smegma pero ang iba ang tawag don "KUPAL" nyahahaha. lolz. mas hygienic ang tuli at astig ka dito sa pilipinas pag tuli ka. kumbaga member ka ng exclusive group ng matatapang. lolz.
Posted in BODY | | | 0 Comments
August 15th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Ang kapal din naman ng mukha ko nung una kasi i enrolled for masteral even if the results of the board exam havent been released yet. nakakahiya din kasi my classmates there were key personnel of the nursing departments of hospitals and they all have something to slap me on the face, may license na sila na anytime pwede nilang ipagmayabang sa mga neophytes like me. pero good thing luck was on my side at nagkaroon ako ng ipang bi-bitch slap sa mga mukha nila pag nagkataon. lolz…joke lang naman. hehehe.
School is one of the things that i love without being hypocritical or plastic here. haha. totoo, maniwala ka man o sa hinde, eh, i missed going to classes when i graduated. nakakamiss din yung araw araw narereplenish yung baon mo so you have something to spend on yosi and alcohol and the endless gimiks. nyahaha.
When i was in college, i was never an absingero. oo, nag aabsent ako pero my absences were always valid and i always have reason not to attend class. so kahit i have a hang over and the veins on my head and temple are pulsating due to pain, and my eyes are drooping and very much sleepy, pumapasok parin ako sa classes and mga duties ko.
Now, im back to school, masteral naman ang kinakana ko, mas mahirap at mas advanced ang topics and mas madaming requirements. my classes are only every first and third saturday of the month pero hindi yan nasusunod kasi everytime ang mga nuknukan ng tamad na teachers ko sa MSN eh lagi namang absent. sa four meetings that weve had since july, weve only met once. pakingshet ba? oo. pakingshet kase kung sino pa yung teacher siya ang wala. model of GMRC ayt? lolz. they leave naman assignments and requirements pero iba parin ang may input ang teacher and there are really class discussions and lectures. nakakapagod gumising every morning just to attend class na wala naman akong dadatnan na teacher.badtrip. badtrip. lolz.
At eto pa, one of my teachers on my maternal and child subject is my old dean who had an operation to get rid of her tonsils many years ago had a speech defect, im not being mean here or anything pero he voice has become really squeaky and matinis na its hard to decipher what she’s saying. its like listening to a ghost whispering on your ears or a squirrel digging the ground to bury an acorn. lolz. pero she seems a good teacher naman.
Thats all i want to say, kung sino pa nagtuturo ngayon, they are the ones who frequently decides to not go to school, stay in bed, continue their sleep and leave their students facing nobody. or else nasa conference sila na siguro naman is important. hehehe.
NAGTATAKA KA SIGURO KUNG BAT PINGK? NURSING KASI IS FINK TALAGA ANG KULAY. LOLZ. KUNG SINO MAN NAGSABI NYAN, DI KO ALAM, WAG NANG MAKEELAM.LOLZ
Posted in SCHOOL | | | 0 Comments
August 13th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
YAP–SALVADOR–LEATHER
ano naman kinalaman ng tatlong yan saken? wala. parang gago lang na i was able to chance their video at youtube—-leather throwing the ball at salvador’s face and yap kicking leather in the arse (nyahahaha) and then running away from the nigger’s grasping hands like a fag. nyahahaha. may issue pa na when he was running away daw eh nakangiti si ogags. and another video showed salvador doing the "finger" nyahahaha. siguro naman what leather did to salvador (throw the ball at his face) merits him that eff you. lolz lolz.
here are the links to both vids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUvuszsGGCI&feature=related —-salvador and his eff you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS7Nk5_ngcI&feature=related —– yap running. lolz
eto pa. be amazed. be overwhelmed and die laughing your ass off with this vid.
tayo ng mag lo lo low low low
httpv://youtube.com/watch?v=tbhu-006HPY
marilyn,
today is sonday now. kuya and ate will go MOA and dexter, ate said me
to go to supermarket later to buy them a ulam. i sawed muslim selling
pirate CDs and i saw and i buyed a flo -rida low songs and many more in
these. please come and bring with you nilda and marife.
tayo ng mag lo lo low low low,
xxx bonita xxx
ps
i can operate kuyas webcam all ready,
where sexy out feets.
(http://joncabron.com/2008/05/page/2/) this one’s from joncabron.com, hiram lang, nakakatawa kase. thanks for the vid kuya jon.
Posted in Sports | | | 0 Comments
August 11th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
sunday. pumasok ako sa hospital for the 3-11 shift. sa ICU ako. and everytime na andon ako eh tumatagaktak ang pawis ko sa katoxican ng mga patients at aircon sa loob. nung nasa pinto na ako ng ICU, may mga bumbs na nagaabang. di ko alam na they have a patient inside. eh di door bell ako. pinagbuksan ako nung nurse na kasama ko sa shift na yon. then (wahahahaha) tumambad sakin ang isang nakakaaliw na pangyayari sa loob ng ICU. yung ICU, it usually smells like the patients and kung minsan amoy floor sanitizer, pero that time, nak ng mongrel, amoy bumbs. nyahahaha. amoy sangatutak na bumbs! kaya pala. ah ok. sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko. may bumbs pala na naaksidente, kasama ang kanyang kapatid na motor (hula ko 5/6 yun) haha. lolz. kung ikaw ang nurse na andon, mawiwrdohan ka sa mga eksena na makikita mo! nyahahaha. ako man gusto ko ng tumawa pero kung gagawin ko yun baka mahunting ako ng mga bumbs hahabulin nila ako ng mga motor nila nyahahaha. so ayun quiet lang. tinanong ko yung batchmate ko na andon din.
mike: anong meron?
betha: mga bumbs. tinotoxic nila sarili nila. makinig ka lang. (ngiti)
mike: ok. ok.
eto kasi eksena ng mga mababangong bumbs na may angelic faces at walang kahalong sarcasm yan! wahahaha.
to be transferred via airlift yung patient to a hospital in manila, sabi ko sa sarili ko: wow, bigtaym ang mga lolo at lola mong bumbs na me amoy. nyahahahaha.the nurse on duty was calling asian and st lukes but there were no vacancy in their ICU’s so they were left with UST and UDMC. they chose UST. madaming naging problema. di ko na matandaan yung iba kasi nag busy busy-han akong kumukuha ng vital signs nung baby na nasa ICU din. then napasok sila sa topic na kung sinong doctor ang sasama sa patient. gusto nila yung attending physician. hay nako ang potakteng gayish na doctor nagumpisa nanaman ng gulo kasi antagal dumating at sabi ng mga bumbs, dinelay daw namen (by “namen” i mean lahat ng taong nasa loob ng ICU pati na siguro yung mga housekeeping eh nasali) yung pag transfer ng patient at ng flight nila na 4:00 ng hapon dapat, eh 3:30 na noon. nyahahaha. andami nila nasabi, pag namatay daw yung patient, idedemanda daw nila due to negligence and delaying tactics yung hospital. wahahahaha. sabi pa ng angelic face bumbs na amoy ibinabad sa onion concoction nyahahahahaha eh sinadya daw namen na idelay yung flight nila. wow. sa mga oras na to, umiiwas na ako sa mga bumbs at nag focus dun sa isa pang patient, vital signs ako kunware. nyahahahaha at ang napagkadisketahan eh si sir russel, yung RT, nyahahahaha. wheeee. buti nalang wala ako don. then syempre, ako pa? mawawala sa eksena? may tumawag sa phone ng ICU, sabi pababain ko na yung mga bumbs. maingay, may amoy at nakakatakot na ang mga angelic faces nila when i called for their attention and relayed what i was told over the phone. wow. nabigla ako sa authority ko as a nurse. nyahahahaha. sunod ang isang batalyong bumbs sa sinabi ko andon na daw kasi yung ambulance and the attending physician. so binaba na din yung patient, ang sumunod na tumambad na eksena eh sa ER naman, dun naman nagpuputak yung mga potakteng anak ng mongrel na mga bumbs. and the fact na may ibang patients for admission, di dapat ganon, nyahahaha. so ready lang si manong guard baka magkagulo kasi lalo pang nagiging angelic yung faces ng mga bumbs. hahahaha. whew. pagka lagay nung patient sa ambulance, siguro mga thirty minutes pa before they left, because of the doctor na gayish nyahahaha. basta may ginawang gulo si gayish doctor na ikinainit ng ulo ng mga angelic faced bumbs at ng shief of hospital. nyahahaha. biruin mo, isang maliit na process na dapat natapos agad eh lumaki ng todo?
lesson learned: wag mag aadmit ng mga demanding na bumbs. taena ako! racist amp! nyahahaha. blog ko to baket? hahahaha. wag lang to mabasa ng mga bumbs na nasa loob ng ICU non at patay ako. konektado sila kay DY at ALVAREZ. bang bang alley ang labas ko nyan. wahahahaha. pish tayo!
Posted in FUNNY | tagged Add new tag, bumbay, demanding, ICU, sibuyas | | 3 Comments
August 7th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
WARNING: IF YOU DON’T LIKE READING OR HEARING THE "F" WORD, BETTER NOT READ THIS ONE! NYAHAHAHAHA. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
NEVER FORGET THE WORDS OF THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE :
Mayor of Hiroshima "What the fuck was that?"
Captain of the Titanic "Where’s all the fucking water coming from?"
Michelangelo "You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling?"
Einstein "Any fucker could understand that."
Samuel L. Jackson "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck"
John Lennon "Is that a real fucking gun?"
Leonidas "What fucking pit of death? Its just a fucking hole."
Christopher Columbus "Where the fuck are we?"
Michael Jackson "It’s a fucking skin condition"
Noah "Scattered showers, my fucking arse."
Donald Trump "You’re fucking fired!"
Paris Hilton "Fuck me."
John F Kennedy "I don’t need no fucking roof."
Hurricane Katrina "Mardi Fuckin Gras these motherfuckers."
Leonardo da Vinci "You call that a fucking smile?"
and our very own…
Lapu-Lapu "San galing ang mga putanginang ‘yan?!"
COPIED THIS ONE FROM SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW. TEE HEEEE….
Posted in FUNNY | | | 0 Comments
August 7th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
EXERPTS FROM BUHAY NI BOY BASTOS
crush ni boy si nene kaya di nya itotinitigilan ?…. sinisiko ni boy sinene
nene: mam! si boy o! sinisiko ako!
teacher: boy bastos! alam mo bang masakit ang maniko?
Boy bastos: e mam, bat pa kayo pumasok?
kumakain ng mani si boy…
boy: nene, gusto mo ng mani?
nene: ayoko, tinitigyawat ako sa mani e…
boy: ah ganon ba? ako sa mukha.
LOLZ
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August 5th, 2008 by janmihaelvaldez
Culture shock
Before I start this new entry, I would like to thank the
countless (countless as in count less sila kasi iilan lang sila na nagbabasa or
siguro madaming madami din, hindi lang nagiiwan ng comments nyahahaha (hmmm
umaasa?) lolz) readers and fans with special mention to ate mhelai who is my
NUMBER 1 avid and enthusiastic fan! Hahaha (oh yeah, ate mhelai, nath nath
confirmed who “Mr. Dorm” is, nangangamoy tuyo yung buong dorm kasi andun parin
pala siya nyahahahaha!)
Bat naman ako nagsusulat ng blog entry tungkol sa culture
shock? Eh kasi last Sunday, I arrived at manila to process my papers at PRC
because I am now a new RN! (naks ang yabang! nyahahaha) tapos sandamakmak na
shocking events and news and information ang natanggap ng napakatalino kong
brain as in overwhelming to the point of exhaustion! Nyahahaha.
Eto let me start.
Culture Shock # 1
Setting: streets of Metro Manila
Characters: Sea of brown colored water with pieces of mysterious
unidentified matter floating on its surface through water tension and buoyancy
(pisiks yan mga kapatid na muntik ko nang nilagpak nung hayskul hahaha)
otherwise known as “baha.” Nyahahahaha ang
haba namon. And mga bata
Story: we were traveling along maria clara street which I think
is near QC or is in QC or in sampaloc hahaha di ko alam kung saan yun, when
suddenly what kuya tikong thought to be a shallow Sea of brown colored water
with pieces of mysterious unidentified matter floating on its surface through
water tension and buoyancy turned out to be very deep and the car he was
driving almost sank! Nyahaha. Muntik kami malubog, that’s what I mean. As in
ang lalim, the Honda civic right in front of us probably had some of the tubig
baha seep inside his car. Pero hindi lang ako sa baha na-shock, nagulat ako sa
mga bata na nagtatatalon at nagdidive at nag iisnorkle sa Sea of brown colored
water with pieces of mysterious unidentified matter floating on its surface
through water tension and buoyancy, I said to myself, “shit” ang gagaling nila,
muro ami (pelikula ni cesar montano about kids catching fish blah blah blah)
Laking province ako and yet I never saw those things happen
here, I tried bathing in the rain but never bathing in a Sea of brown colored
water with pieces of mysterious unidentified matter floating on its surface
through water tension and buoyancy. Ibang klase.
Culture Shock # 2
Setting: PRC
Characters: isang bilyong katao magi sip tayo. Hahaha. Totoo.
At ako
Story: Monday. Woke up at around 6:45. I had coffee. Then another
coffee. Time: 8:00 am. Yosi. And routine morning self care. Left dorm at around
15 minutes to 9:00. raining outside. Im still feverish. Sakay on a jeepney. Arrived
at prc 2 seconds later hahaha ang bilis noh? Lolz. When I arrived at the gate,
may pila. Kala ko maikli. Ako’y nagkamali (uy that rhymes. haha) pila na umabot
pala sa morayta! Lechugas naman!
I said to myself, patience is a virtue (maraming values at
virtues na magaganda ang abang lingcod
gaya
ng pagyoyosi, at uminom ng alak hahaha) pumila nga ako. When I was finally
inside the gate! Hell broke on earth! Pucha (anon na yung term na di mahulog
yung needle kasi madaming tao?) basta madaming tao. Kung may sumabog during
that time, malamang nagka stampede. Sayang ang mga lisensya, puro ata nurses ang
nandon. Pero walang ganong nangyari. Napabulong ako ng “shit” narining ni
manong guard pero tinignan lang ako. Then may uncivilized gago na nagtutulak at
sumisiksik just to get a form from the distributor. Di ko pinansin, away to
kung sakasakali. Nakakuha din ako ng form
gaya
nung sa uncivilized gago and an action slip that I have to fill up with my
information and picture. After that I have to fall in line again at window J sa
ground floor ng PRC, I asked one guy who was in line kung which window are they
in line for, he said “J” I said “K” hahaha. Eh di sinundan ko yung line na yon,
then akalain mo, nakapulupot pala ang lechugas na line sa buong PRC! Napamura nanaman
ako sa sarili ko at syempre wala ng guard na nakarinig pero sabi ko parin “patience
is a virtue.” Masyado ng mahaba tong culture shock number 2 eto na ending:
hindi ko natapos ang processing ng papers ko, its like nagwaldas ako ng money
just to fall in line for nothing!!!! Fu*K! and the fact na nilalagnat ako? Waaa.
Balik ako mid august!
Sana
ako lang ang tao. Nyahaha.
Culture shock # 3
Setting: ADM
Characters: girls of room 5
Story: (eto maikli lang to) ang daming girls ngayon sa ADM,
madami din magaganda, tama nga sinabi ni Hesper hahahaha. Yung girls of room 5,
sila steffy yun, kimmy and some other girls that I don’t know pero ma-appeal, hahaha,
sasabihin nanaman ni ate mhelai na she can smell tuyoooo nyahahaha.
Culture Shock # 4
Setting: ADM
Characters: Ged and Charm and ako. haha
Story: charm talking to Ged: halika nga ditto pag kinakausap
kita!! (ahm, hindi ako nakikinig sa mga usapan ng ibang tao, sadyang nasa tapat
ng pinto yung bed ko kaya narinig ko at talaga naming malakas pagkakasabi ni
charm. Defensive mode. Totoo! Iba ang nakikinig sa narinig lang nyahahaha) ano naming
nakaka culture shock don sa sinabi ni charm? Eto, akala ko kasi si Charm mas
bata kay Ged, parang I wondered how come someone younger can to talk to his
older brother that way. Then I found out later (from Hesper haha andaming info galling
kay hesper ah?) that charm was a year older pala than Ged. Ok. Tuldok.
Culture Shock # 5
Setting: ADM
Characters: kuya Eric, Hesper, Jojo, Aaron aka tesma, Mikey, Ged and
I at ang mahiwagang P1750 haha.
Story: boys night in. boys night in kasi sa loob lang kami ng
room 1 nag inuman na ang pasimuno eh si kuya eric na ako naman ang pinaka unang
pumayag hahaha. Eh di boys talk, P1750 daw sa labas ng Grand Inihaw na may
sister company daw na nagbebenta ng P1750. nagets mo? Ako syempre OO hahaha. What
is talked about at room 1 stays in room 1. Lols.
Culture shock # 6
Setting: ADM sa may lobby
Characters: some person na paalis na sa dorm (di ko
memention kung sino siya o anong gender nya. O clue nay an hahaha)
Story: mikey, twilight, kuya eric and I was watching
something on tv when someone arrived. Matangkad, maputi, (yan lang ang
description) kinawayan niya si twilight na parang…….. then natawa ako (sa
sarili ko lang) then I asked mikey kung siya nga ba yung sinasabi niya last
summer na…………. na kim was defending na hindi daw……. Hahaha magulo? Oo, I intend
to make this part magulo para wala makagets, mahirap na nasa friendster list ko
yun, mahirap ng magkaroon ng kaaway na di ko naman kilala. Hahaha. So ayun,
etong si lokong kuya eric, may binulong kay manong taxi driver na parang ganito
“kuya pagpasensyahan mo na yung sakay mo, mejo may pagka………” yun lang narinig
ko. Again, hindi ako nakikinig sa mga usapan basta pumasok nalang yun sa tenga
ko. Tapos after saying that to the manong taxi driver, natawa si kuya eric ako
din natawa, APIR, parang nagets ko nga kung ano yung binulong ni kuya eric
hahaha. Nagtataka lang ako, bat ganon, masyadong……………….kala ko…………..hahahaha………….end
Culture Shock # 7
Setting: ADM room 1
Characters: Aaron and I
Story: after falling in line at PRC, my fever went back, so I
have to take another tablet of myremol to reduce my temperature, tapos
sinabayan ko na din ng rest and sleep, after a while nagising ako pero din a ako
gumalaw (naka right side lying position ako, away from the light) then may
dumating, KABLAG sabi nung pintuan, nagulat ako pero hinayaan ko lang, tapos I tried
to go back to sleep, nakatulog ako pero mababaw, then suddenly narinig ko si
Aaron na kumakanta, gulat ako na gusto kong tumawa (kung kakilala ko na non pa
si Aaron nahulog siguro ako sa double deck kakatawa.
Para
siyang sinasaniban ng demonyo while singing! Shet. Eh di naka move on na ako so
tulog ulit, eh I have fever nga and the myremol is making me sweat, so I have
to turn the ceiling fan on, hayun after 5 minutes ata, natuyuan ako so I have
to change my shirt na, bumaba ako, nagpalit, then I saw my prc form and I decided
to reread the procedures at the back, nagulat nalang ako may sumigaw “TAAANG
EEEEENNAAA A ANG LAAAMEEEEG” tumayo si
Aaron para sana patayin yung ceiling fan eh nakita nya ata ako na nagbabasa di na
niya pinatay, nahiya siguro hahahaha. Eh di bumalik siya sa
kama
.
Ako naman, gusto ko ng humalak hak
langya! Kaya yun pinatay ko yung ceiling fan at lumabas nalang.
Para
nga akong tanga eh, nasa labas pangiti ngiti hahaha.
Tanginang encounter na yan ay Aaron! Nakakaloko na nakakatawa. Bumula bibig ko!
Tang eenna ang lammeeeg!! Hahahaha. Ayus!
kung umabot ka sa part na to ng entry na ko, salamat, interesado ka talaga sa laman ng utak kong matalino pero walang kwenta ang mga pinagsasabi, gaya neto. lolz
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